Tonight is Aidan's Kindergarden orientation. So here we go. It will be the world of special ed. This morning I am forcing myself to read about Polymicrogyria and IEP's and special education laws. It's all hugely depressing to me. But I have to know what the heck I'm talking about. I have to help Aidan get what he needs. It's my broken place.
When I am home with Aidan..it all seems sort-of normal to me. His non-verbal communication, and having to wipe his mouth 100 times a day. It's when I get out in public that his issues become painfully obvious to me. Children might say "why is he drooling"..or "why is his shirt wet"..mom's notice that he isn't talking and the question comes: "How old is he?" I say five. It sinks in...five, and not talking.
When he was two, three and even four..mom's said things like "he will talk when he is ready"..it's a nice encouraging thing to say. But, at five, knowing mothers know. And they carefully and kindly ask: "What's the diagnosis?~and that's when a young mom and this grandmother link eyes and hearts. Because it is every parent/grandparents nightmare...a diagnosis. It's my broken place.
I'm interested in all the talk about the recent Amendment in North Carolina, but then again not really. State by state, let them decide. If we all agreed we would live in some kind of Utopia. I want to live in a Utopia where children can talk..and see and hear and walk. I don't care who anyone marries or who they sleep with, I have a grandson that doesn't talk. But, that is just my own selfish world.
Ugh, yesterday I lost electricity, but today is my dark day. Yesterday I lost power, today I feel like all the power is sucked out of me.
I read this quote this morning:
[We] see the face of God within the disabled. Their presence is a sign of God, who has chosen [quoting St. Paul] 'the foolish in order to confound the strong, the proud and the so-called wise of our world.' And so those we see as weak or marginalized are, in fact, the most worthy and powerful among us: they bring us closer to God." -- Jean Vanier,
I definitely need a power source today. Hm...maybe Aidan and I need to go get a yogurt to celebrate his Kindergarden orientation....someone needs some sprinkles.
We love you and Aidan, Kelli!! Hitch up those granny panties, and be strong!! Aidan, his mother, and you have got this!! People can be cruel, but most don't mean to or are just uninformed.
ReplyDeleteYou are one if the best people I know, andvif anyone can sprinkle a little sunshine around, it is you!! Chin up and forge ahead!! There's a better day out there!!
This is beautiful and I am crying. Wish I could hug you.
ReplyDeleteUpdate us on how the orientation goes!!
ReplyDeleteYou live in a county where kids with all sorts of differences are included in the classroom, not singled out or segregated. Aidan will be loved, accepted, and nobody will really even feel uncomfortable. The kids and teachers will just see him as another kid in the class, and will love him. I remember how my first graders fell in love with him when you brought him to visit. I am excited to hear how he BLOOMS in Kindergarten! I know he will!
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