Tuesday, July 31, 2012

When Life's A Blur

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 First it was my legs, now it's my eyes. Actually, my eyes have been going for some time now, I just chose to ignore it. I'm  good at that.
I became aware of  it while trying to order from the frozen yogurt menu. I noticed that when older people start to lose their hearing, they smile and nod a lot, and just act like they can understand the conversation. I looked at the menu board smiling, pretending to read it, nodding and wondering what kinds of exotic flavors I might be missing...then I'd say "Chocolate please." Surely chocolate is up there.

Chocolate, it has never failed me.

The opthamologist said: "This is the line the DMV is concerned about." Silence. What line? I can't read one letter, not one. Um...I look over at my handbag where my license is tucked away. Is she going to request that I hand it over immediately? Is THAT why things are so slow over at the DMV? Are they constantly being called over to the local Opthamologist's office to confiscate licenses from little old ladies? Is this an example of the public and private sectors working together?

She turns a nob. "Is this better?" ~Oh yes! MUCH better! She moves it again.."How about now?" Perfect! There is hope for me! I can't believe they are letting me drive away from here...
I'm a menace to society. And, I am definitely a menace to wildlife..

My tires have had some major contact  with the local squirrels lately. I imagine dozens of them picketing my entrance into the Pearly Gates...holding little signs that read: "SQUIRREL KILLER!" Or  "HEY! CAN'T A SQUIRREL JUST CROSS A ROAD?"
I say "But, I couldn't  SEE you! I thought you were just rodent bumps...er, I mean bumps in the road..I mean, you FELT like bumps.." (little squirrely bumps...) I wonder if my recent eye exam can be my defense? Better bring a note from the doctor just incase...

There is a woman at the eye doctor's whose job  is to help you find the perfect frames. She looks at the shape of my face and my coloring. She pulls several frames from the displays. I sit in front of the pile and try one on after another. The excitement does not build. I pull my hair up into a faux bun and put the pair on that I believe will make me look like Sarah Palin. It's lost in translation. She says: "Um, I have a few in the back I would like to try." Oh no, they have a stockpile in the back for problem eye doctor appointment people...like me.

But, then I start to get a little excited! It feels like being in Chinatown when they bring you into the back, back room..where they store all the really exciting fake Louis Vuittons! She says: "I like these on you. They give your face a lift."

Whoa...she's good! This woman knows the buzz word for women my age. Almost every undergarment and all of my cosmetic products have the word "lift" in them. I point to another pair. "Do these give my face a lift?"( Because they are half the  price :)

It took me two seconds flat to pick out my cute Kate Spade sunglass frames that they will use with my prescription. I will wear those to drive durning the day. Who cares what I wear to see driving at night. It's dark! I mean, I don't exactly have a red carpet lifestyle..heck, I don't even take vacations! A vacation to me is sitting in a coffee shop and reading about people who take vacations and who need things like "safe words":)

Sometimes I imagine Jesus sitting in my passenger seat. But, he has to love me with two eyes OR four eyes. I like to tell Jesus how I would run things if I were he:) Sometimes, I remind him to put his seatbelt on...then I remember whom I'm talking ! ..:)

I tell him all my puny problems, just in case he has been busy. I mean, it IS an election year. Then, I unload the big problems. I tell him I feel a bit like a target. I can feel the arrows whizzing past me. Sometimes I take a hit. But, one has yet to hit the Bullseye...the one that would take me out. I am thankful for that. Thankyoujesus.

I look over at him and say: "This body you gave me is failing me Jesus." He says: "You won't need it  much longer. It's not your real home anyway."  Ah..to be free of this body...

 Actually, I am asking Jesus for some pretty big things. But, they are not things that require the visual.   They sort of fall into the range of "walking by faith, and not by sight." I am asking for things one cannot see in the natural. I believe it to be so.  These are the kind of prayers my Lord likes. "Blessed are they that have not seen, yet they believe."

I am looking forward to seeing this prayer answered. But, even more, I am looking forward to hearing it....straight out of Aidan's mouth.

I believe it to be so.

I just got a call that one of my pair of  glasses is ready for pick up. One of the nurses said: " I bet you can't see the leaves on the trees." No, I guess I can't. I see a brown trunk, and a  green mass around it. I think I must see the world like a lovely Monet painting. No wonder I love the Fall so much. It's just one beautiful color bleeding into the next.

I wonder if I want to leave my blur of a life. But, then there is the license thing....and of course the whole squirrel thing....

I know I don't see images on the TV well. Maybe after I get my glasses, I will watch one of my favorite movies. Maybe Brad Pitt is just an average ordinary looking guy..........nawh........:)

Monday, July 23, 2012

Cracker Barrel Lady

Every time I eat at the Cracker Barrel I ask myself the same question: " When does THAT happen?"
When do women decided to cut off all of their hair?  When do they decide to let it grow into that silvery  grave....er, I mean gray color? When is it ok to wear palm trees on your pants. When does your waist grow all the way up until it's right under your breasts. Or is it that the breasts are meeting it halfway?

Age, the time when you start repeating yourself.

I read that Cracker Barrel keeps the restaurant chilly so people won't stay so long. I'm pretty sure they are talking about old people. Old people hate to be cold. I think they should let them stay at least as long as it takes them to walk to their tables! Walking with those walkers with the tennis balls on one end, where the cracks in the floor are like speed bumps slowing their process even more. Old people look both ways before crossing a room....

And you start repeating yourself.

An interesting thing happened at the grocery store the other night. I had to squat down to get something from the lower shelf. I realized for a moment, that I couldn't easily get up. I looked around for a Navy Seal for assistance. No one..not even a Boy Scout but, at least I didn't have an audience.

I wondered why my legs couldn't do their job. It is my legs job to get me vertical. It looked as though  they were going to need my hands for  assistance. I was embarrassed for my legs.

 My hands had other jobs to do. Like fold into little balls so I could shake my puny fists at horrible drivers. One little finger on a hand can speak volumes when one is too lady like to use the word. I am actually learning to use my hands to speak a whole new language with my grandson. My hands are busy.

But, I used one to reach up to hold onto the shelf above and the other to push myself from the floor. I was grateful it worked and I didn't have to hear over the loud speaker.."Old lady down on isle 3!"  If my legs can't do their job, what's next?  Oh dear, the walker with the tennis balls? The Cracker Barrel Lady is entering my body. Soon, the throw pillows on my bed will be hot water bottles.

And you start repeating yourself

Today is Monday. Boot Camp Monday. I'm getting these legs in shape. My elliptical has decided to give me a second chance and has taken his ad off Craiglist. He likes a challenge.

And, I will not be visiting Cracker Barrel anytime soon;)

Wednesday, July 18, 2012


My daughter makes coffee in the middle of then night. Don't ask me why. Last night, in her sleep coffee drinking mode, she must have missed her cup because there was a little of the vanilla syrup she uses in her coffee forming a perfect little puddle on the counter.

I wouldn't have even seen it, if it wasn't for all the little black dots surrounding it.


Ants. How do they know? How, from their little ant hills outside, do they know that if they come to my door, (after all, it does say "Welcome")  take a left, and to the right of the sink, they will find a delicious little puddle of sweet sticky vanilla flavored syrup?

They really didn't have to make the steep climb up to the counter. They could have feasted on all the little cracker/cereal crumbs that Aidan left as an offering on the floor. Maybe that was the fore course.

But, they were determined to get to the good stuff. "Onward marching soldiers!" Their leader must have said.."Keep your eye on the goal...we are almost to the land of milk and honey syrup..I can smell it!" And, they follow, because ants work together like that.

What foresight and industry little ants have; those feeble little creatures who help each other and carry one another burdens. Who, like thirsty animals in the african dessert , take their chance that a crocodile may at  any time burst through the water as they sip the cool liquid. Just as I hover above them with my paper towel......

My daughters favorite verse as a child was Proverbs 6:6. I read this version this morning:

"Take a lesson from the ants you lazybones, learn from their ways and become wise"

There is a lot to learn from the little ant. How funny of God to tell us to look to the ant for wisdom.
Oh to be wise, to learn the wisdom of it, and become wiser still.

I think I'll be like an ant today. And find the sweet side of life.
Oh to be an ant~see ya at the puddle!

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

The Spice Of Life

Last night my co-workers and I sat around a big table in a noisy sushi bar to say good-bye to our fearless leader. She has a wonderful opportunity ahead of her so there is reason to celebrate, but at the same time, it's hard to see her go. We will miss her..and all she added to our five-some.

We all started working together in a beautiful little independently owned gift/home decor store. We all loved it there. Loved the beauty of the store, the customers, the products we sold and we grew to love each other. We are from all different walks of life, different ages, but something special started to happen. We spilled out our lives to each other. And, with five women sharing details of their lives, there is enough material there to write a pretty exciting book...talk about Fifty Shades......

But, our little store closed. I remember sitting around another table, clicking our wine glasses and saying a sort-of good-bye to each other and promising to stay in touch. And we did stay in touch, because we all ended  up getting jobs together in another little store just a few doors down. Like some kind of group  hire.

So, there we were, our little work family, just in a different house. When does THAT ever happen? We are usually stuck with our families. This time, it was in a good way. The kind of stuck like when you are on vacation and the flights are all canceled and you have to stay in paradise for an extra day. Ok. Or when the plane is too crowed and you are asked if you would mind being bummed up to first class. Ok.

NOT like the kind of stuck like in a traffic jam..and you just know your car is going to over heat, and you have to go potty. One time, when I live in California, I was stuck in a traffic jam. If there is an accident anywhere near the Bay Bridge, you better be prepared to be stuck. I will never forget when the door of the car in front of me opened and a women got out, squatted and ....went potty. I couldn't believe my eyes, but I couldn't blame her..she had a beautiful car..can't tinkle in THAT. And, beautiful clothes...can't show up somewhere with a urine stain, not to mention the smell. Especially if she had eaten asparagus the night before...hehe. After I had children, I decided that all women should store a diaper in the glove box. Just in case.

Last night, as I thought about the five of us. I  decided that we were like a spice rack. We added flavor to each others life. Since I am writing this and I get to pick my spice, I chose Ginger. Why not? When I was young and watched Gilligan's Island I used to ask myself if I would rather be sweet Mary Anne, or the spicy Ginger. Ginger wore evening gowns everyday...I realized that's all she had packed on that fated trip...that started from that tropic port, aboard that tiny ship..a three hour tour...a three hour tour:) But, I feel like that would probably have been what she preferred. Her life's uniform. But, no, I was a Mary Anne. So, now I want to be Ginger:)

Joyce would definitely be salt. There is a woman who has your back! One of the most generous thoughtful women I have ever known. The salt of the earth.

Anna, she would be cinnamon. Cinnamon is apart of everything sweet. Everyone likes cinnamon. Everyone loves Anna.

Catherine, now she's rare. Beautiful, humble, quietly living her life doing fantastic things. She has written two books. I just know I will see her on Amazon...I just KNOW it. Catherine would be saffron. It's  hard to find the real thing, but when you find it...you know it.

Ashley, the woman we were celebrating....sweet incredible Ashley. The one  who rose to the top to become our store manager in just a short time..just like the cream that she is:) It was wonderful seeing her talents come into the forefront. In a blink of an eye, she had everything organized, clean  and beautiful. Her absence will be a complete loss to the store. The owner still hasn't come out of the gas about losing her.
 Ashely, she would have to be Allspice. There just isn't anything she can't do. I admire her, and will never forget her.

Oh,  what a sweet family, the kind to be stuck with....in a good way.

Friday, July 6, 2012

Outlaw Women

                           "All the women I know feel a little like outlaws."~Marilyn French.   

They lay on the grass face up to the California sun. Barefooted..always. They soak up the sun. They plan their lives. They will have a double wedding. They will have children at the same time. A boy first, then a girl. They promise to be friends forever and promise never to forget each other....and they don't.

They grow up together..fast. They make their own rules. They become family when their own families fail them. They give each other crazy ideas, and dare them and double dare them. They are fearless. They stay out too late~but adventures take time.

They are strong for each other when the losses come. And they come. Loved ones lost. Hearts break into a million little pieces. They patch each other up..but are too young and unprepared.

Life goes on. Babies are born. A life's purpose. They grow into adulthood on different coasts.

The news travels, of the loss of my outlaw friend. But, I remember our childhood game..the pin prick, we mix our blood...and promise to always remember.

Monday, July 2, 2012

When The Wind Blows....

When the wind blows, you lose some things. Like trees..and electricity. It's been several days now since we have had electricity. People are starting to feel the pain...like this person:)

But, some interesting things have happened, and it has reminded me of a story:

A ship lost at sea for  many days suddenly sighted a friendly vessel. From the mast of the unfortunate vessel was seen a signal: "Water, water! We die of thirst." The answer from the friendly vessel at once came back: "Cast your bucket where you are." A second time, the signal, "Water, send us water!" went up from the distressed vessel. And was answered: "Cast down your bucket where you are." A third and fourth signal for water was answered: "Cast your bucket where you are." The captain of the distressed vessel, at last heeding the injunction, cast down his bucket and it came up full of fresh, sparkling water from the mouth of the Amazon River.

Sometimes, when we need help, we find it right were we are. Neighbors are looking out for each other, offering their refrigerators and freezers, showers and cool air. Churches are set up to provide water, Gatorade and snacks. The conversations in coffee shops and bakeries (you can see where I have been spending my time) turns to who has electricity and what the time table is for others to expect it.

When I cast my bucket down where I am..l like what I am pulling up. It's refreshing. I like seeing the basic goodness in people.

But, I'm thinking I can only be good for so long...:) I miss having electricity. I don't like sweating inside my house when I haven't even been on my elliptical. Maybe our neighborhood is "too nice". I don't see any power company trucks in our area..maybe we aren't complaining enough. Maybe I need to find a woman is who in full blown menopause and ask her to become our leader:)

The heat is playing tricks on my mind. I'm a bit foggy headed. You know those moments when you go about looking for your glasses and they are on your head? Or, when you are looking all over for your phone and realize it is on your ear? This morning I couldn't find my bra. I look down and  realize it is right where it is supposed to be, and doing a mighty fine job at it if I do say so myself.

When and if I get my power turned back on:

I will really enjoy seeing my refrigerator filled up again. I will love listening to music in my kitchen and get the homey feeling I get when I prepare a meal. I won't even mind doing the dishes. I will LOVE taking a hot shower and getting out and feeling cold!

Maybe I will not complain as much after I open my electric bill. Maybe I may even decide to turn off my air-conditioning and enjoy a natural sauna. Maybe I will take a cold shower for fun, and let my hair air dry....................................................Maybe:)