Monday, November 19, 2012
Some traditions are just not sound. Like my tradition of shopping for my Thanksgiving menu on the eve of Thanksgiving. I like to wait till the very last minute for things. This adds excitement to my life. This allows me to avoid things like bungie jumping. It's my extreme sport...procrastinating.
I'm sorry to say, I have passed this trait along to at least one of my children.
You know who you are....
I may have passed on my talent for misplacing things...or completely losing them. And, I'm sorry to say, the same child got this little gem too.
You know who you are.....
But, it is also why none of my children ever got in trouble for forgetting their lunch, or losing their coat.
It happens to the best of us. (but, mostly me...)
But, I digress...
So, THIS year things will be different. I decide to break it up a bit, and at least get the turkey a few days before so I am not stuck buying the 300 pound frozen mutant turkey (because the extra large ones are the only ones left) which leaves no time for it to defrost. Even in this age of global warming. It goes into the oven cold and stays there until it's little button pops up...and we are all starving...
Nope, this year will be different..
Before I leave for the grocery store my daughter hands me a wad of coupons. This is her new hobby, saving money. I like it.
I get my cart and I'm feeling pretty good about having two whole days before the big one! I go straight to the meat department. It's not the three or four lonely looking turkeys in a big almost empty case that I'm used to seeing, the ones who may not be the main attraction in a families Thanksgiving meal.(while all the other foods on the menu are considered merely "sides".) The ones who may have sacrificed their lives only to become the sale item in the next weeks flyer. These turkeys are stacked two deep...all across the case.
I choose the one that I feel like wants to come home with me....it doesn't have a head, but, I believe it winks at me....;)
Now, I can people watch..and listen to conversations while I cruse the isles. Like the earthy looking father who turns to his son who is about 7 and says "How bout I saute the spinach in garlic...." and the son replies "YES!!" That child probably has NO idea what a Twinkie is...or was.( May it rest in peace....forever)
My favorite was a mother daughter team. A young mom with a cart so full she must have surely left her other two (or ten) children at home. Her young daughter, probably about 5 was carefully pushing her baby bother in a stroller behind her mother. We were going down the isles in opposite directions so we would pass each other for many loops around several isles. I would always speak to the little girl when we got to a new isle..and it started to become sort-of funny when we would turn and see each other at either end of the next isle...and I would hear her say to her mother "there is the nice lady".
And, that's what I want to be...
Meanwhile, I am fascinated by these coupons. Two of them are just like checks. Kroger checks. Free money. One check for two dollars and one for three. Five free dollars. Ok. I'll take it. Thank you Kroger. If I didn't have so many other things to be thankful for, I could at least be thankful for these:) I use all the coupons. I'm surely saving money....I have no list..but, my cart is filling up. I decide its time to go home. After all, I really DO need to make a list and come back tomorrow night, to get the things I actually need for my Thanksgiving meal.
I'm at the check out. I unload my groceries. I happen to look behind me and notice that the folks in my line only have a few items.. holding them in the little baskets like handbags. I turn to the check out girl and say "oh...is this an express line?" She says it is, but, not to worry about it. I have way more than 20 items. (it's the coupons fault...) I'm not the "nice lady" anymore...(where is my little girl to tell them?) I'm the obnoxious "the rules don't apply to me lady". ugh. Now, I have express lane guilt. I start to bag my own items while she rings them up. I start to wonder about the check I just deposited. It's not the most reliable check...and did I get it in before 2? No, I didn't. Oh good grief...how am I going to pay for this Zillion dollar bill? I need Barack Obama now! :) But, all is well. Miracles happen. I say I'm sorry to the people in my line. I feel forgiven.
I have my turkey. And, I get to go back tomorrow and do it all again. It's a wonderful life..:)
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Oh! It must be my massage day! I'm sure it was a Wednesday. I made the appointment while I was driving, and I MEANT to write it down later..but, surely I would remember a massage appointment. ( I mean, it's hardly like remembering a dentist or mammogram appointment...)
So, I lay there thinking that soon, I will be going from one bed to another...a heated one, in a candle lit room. Zen spa music...
But, I'm not sure. I better call. "No," she tells me, "It's two weeks from today" I secretly hope she will add "But, I just happened to have this morning free if you would like to reschedule"......only in my dreams. So, I have a little morning adjustment.
I hear Aidan in the kitchen. He is working on his Monster Truck line up and adding jumps. He gives me joy in the morning.
Aidan lifts up his mitten-less hand. Good thing his mother is there and can run after the dog. Because, I don't like to run in the morning..or at any other time...
And...that's what I call Joy In The Morning:)
Monday, November 5, 2012
And, after a few years, the title comes with an upgrade. If you are fortunate, you can become a "Grand" mom. This is where the fun begins because you can be a little more loosey-goosey about things. You're not really in charge of things like how much sugar is in a particular cereal or if their clothes match. A Grandmother can go for walks and runs and trips to the library and bakery and then drop them off to the responsible people and go take a nap. Grandmothers are tired! We don't have to change the diapers or give the baths or brush the teeth but, of course we do....because it's all Grand.
I guess my first job was my yearly summer lemonade stand with my brother. But, that was back when women (and little want-to-be women) only made 77 cents per dollar compared to their brother. hmm...
I've been thinking a lot about work lately as my present job may or may not have legs to stand on. I love the women I work with and I will never forget this owner! That women is a trip! And one day I will write about her and change her name to protect the innocent and keep her out of jail.
I have my favorite customers. Like the sweet man who came in while his wife was in labor needing a "push present". This is an idea obviously invented by some spectacular woman. I mean, you need a present when you have to push that hard! But, if I were the man, I would hold up that present at the end of the bed so when the pusher is screaming "YOU did this to me!"he can remind her it will be well worth it.
Then, there was the customer who bought gifts for dead people. Yes, you read that right. Now, there is a gift that won't be re-gifted. Just don't expect a thank-you note. ( I personally wrapped that gift with extra care. I don't want any dead people mad at me...)
And, most recently, the man who came in to buy his wife her travel gift. Yes, you read that one right too. You see, when one travels, one needs a little gift...so the plane won't crash. Yep. This woman has her husband convinced that she needs a little piece of jewelry as a good luck charm before she boards a plane. (got to love his woman) We only found this information out as the gift almost didn't arrive in time...but, thankfully it came the day she travel! Phew!
Once again...the women at OAW making people happy (the customer is always right, no matter how weird) and saving peoples lives!
All in a days work...........