Cracker Barrel Lady

Every time I eat at the Cracker Barrel I ask myself the same question: " When does THAT happen?"
When do women decided to cut off all of their hair?  When do they decide to let it grow into that silvery  grave....er, I mean gray color? When is it ok to wear palm trees on your pants. When does your waist grow all the way up until it's right under your breasts. Or is it that the breasts are meeting it halfway?

Age, the time when you start repeating yourself.

I read that Cracker Barrel keeps the restaurant chilly so people won't stay so long. I'm pretty sure they are talking about old people. Old people hate to be cold. I think they should let them stay at least as long as it takes them to walk to their tables! Walking with those walkers with the tennis balls on one end, where the cracks in the floor are like speed bumps slowing their process even more. Old people look both ways before crossing a room....

And you start repeating yourself.

An interesting thing happened at the grocery store the other night. I had to squat down to get something from the lower shelf. I realized for a moment, that I couldn't easily get up. I looked around for a Navy Seal for assistance. No one..not even a Boy Scout but, at least I didn't have an audience.

I wondered why my legs couldn't do their job. It is my legs job to get me vertical. It looked as though  they were going to need my hands for  assistance. I was embarrassed for my legs.

 My hands had other jobs to do. Like fold into little balls so I could shake my puny fists at horrible drivers. One little finger on a hand can speak volumes when one is too lady like to use the word. I am actually learning to use my hands to speak a whole new language with my grandson. My hands are busy.

But, I used one to reach up to hold onto the shelf above and the other to push myself from the floor. I was grateful it worked and I didn't have to hear over the loud speaker.."Old lady down on isle 3!"  If my legs can't do their job, what's next?  Oh dear, the walker with the tennis balls? The Cracker Barrel Lady is entering my body. Soon, the throw pillows on my bed will be hot water bottles.

And you start repeating yourself

Today is Monday. Boot Camp Monday. I'm getting these legs in shape. My elliptical has decided to give me a second chance and has taken his ad off Craiglist. He likes a challenge.

And, I will not be visiting Cracker Barrel anytime soon;)